We all have reactions & reactivity. It’s recognizing what we are feeling in the moment & trying to break the cycle of our past familial interactions. The goal is to see the patterns and learn to change them. Practice Rupture & Repair - we have an argument. How do we repair afterward? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled. I’ll try to listen better next time. I tell all my clients, ...
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10 Tips to Overcome Parenting Challenges:
Discuss differences behind closed doors - your children don’t need to hear you arguing (but it’s certainly Ok for them to hear it on occasion if they see the apologies & some resolution). It’s ok to not have a decision on the spot. You can say that mom and dad would like to talk about it and we will give you an answer later. This way you get to discuss how you will handle an issue. Agree on ...
The Importance of a Quality Connection with your Child
Summer is an ideal time to hone in on your CONNECTION with your children. I've written about this before, but in helping clients who are going through challenges with their kids, I keep coming back to the foundational words of Daniel Siegel, " For a child or an adult, it's extremely powerful to hear someone say, "I get you. I understand. I see why you feel this way." This kind of empathy ...
My Soon to be Empty Nest
Does an Empty Nest Signify the End of our Parenting Influence? I’ve talked before about my daughter leaving for college this fall and my nervous anticipation about her being gone. But, as I get closer to the date of departure, I am embracing it more from a vantage point of excitement for her rather than from my own feelings of loss. OK, maybe let’s call it “a tempered excitement???!!!” She ...
The Kids Are Not Alright!
Last week I discussed some statistics of what is going on with our kids - increasing levels of anxiety, sadness, fears and depression. Recently, “The New York Times” interviewed school counselors on what they are currently seeing within their schools. Here are some of the quotes… “Kids have the highest level of anxiety I’ve ever seen: anxiety about basic safety & fear of what could ...
How do We Talk to our Kids about Tragic Events?!
As a parent and parent coach, I needed to address the events of these last few weeks. I am feeling a host of competing emotions; sadness, anger, fear, worry and anxiety, so I know many of you are feeling it too. Our collective fears and anxieties that these incidents fuel in us are having worrisome effects within our children too. How do we quell our own concerns and sadness while supporting ...
Are We Too Cautious with Our Kids?!
Recently, Netflix started promoting a show called “Old Enough” that’s been a hit in Japan for 30 years. The premise is that toddlers, aged two to four, are followed by cameras as they are sent on their first errands by themselves. They are tasked with delivering items to their neighbors & making shopping trips to the grocery store. These little kids are making their first independent journeys ...
Mom Guilt is Universal!
A stunning thing happened last week during Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s confirmation hearings. In her opening statement, she explained that she was “saving a special moment in her introduction for her daughters.” She said, “I know it hasn’t been easy as I have tried to navigate the challenges of juggling my career and motherhood. And I fully admit that I did not always get the balance right. But, ...
Big Emotions in Da House!
I recently had a conversation with a mother who was worried that her son was experiencing “BIG EMOTIONS”. Her worry was that these “Big Emotions” or reactions might not be appropriate to the actual circumstance. This made me think about this perception we have about EMOTIONS in general. Are they too much at times? Is the concern that having BIG EMOTIONS is a “bad thing” and something that is ...
What I Learned from Watching the show “Queer Eye”
If you’re not familiar with this “FEEL GOOD" show, I’d advise you to start getting acquainted. This show is the perfect antidote for the “winter doldrums” and can provide a really energizing departure from the stressors of living within this global pandemic. The Fab Five experts (as they're aptly named) offer to help people grow into better, healthier and more capable human beings - a personal ...
