The Surgeon General recently came out with a report that “Warns That Social Media May Harm Children and Adolescents.” The report highlighted our current fears of social media usage in our kids.
We’ve all read the recommendations, I’ve discussed them in this newsletter and now the surgeon general has declared with more urgency a few recommendations for families to adopt.
Social Media is here to stay, so how do we not let it overtake all of our lives?
How do we play nice with technology?
Families should keep mealtimes and in person gatherings free of devices to help build social skills and promote conversation. “Family Media Plans” should be created when your child gets their 1st phone, or device with social media. These should include rules and boundaries around content, sites that are mutually agreed upon in which to have an account & rules around privacy.
All the warnings aside, we all have a greater or lesser level of addiction with our devices, but so do our kids and they have less skills in which to break these habits.
Most of our kids are obsessed with their screens and most of us feel like BAD PARENTS for letting this happen. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re still a good parent. Nothing’s wrong with you. We’re all struggling & trying to navigate this world of technology.
Here are a couple of simple strategies on how to initiate a conversation about SCREEN TIME with your kids.
This 1st one comes courtesy of Dr. Becky Kennedy:
Instead of screaming across the room at your kid, “Hey, get off the Ipad, enough already!”
Say this – “You know what I’ve been thinking about, I’m on my phone a lot. It’s really hard for me to be in a room and see my phone and not want to pick it up. I hear I have a text and it just makes me want to look at it.”
Can you help me this week? I want a few moments where I put my phone away. After my phone is away, then we can do something together.”
Ask your child, “What do you think?”
Now all of a sudden you’re on the same team. You’ve just lessened your child’s shame and increased connection with them.
This will help you the next time you have a conversation about your kid’s screen time.
Another easy strategy is to ask your partner, or friend next time you’re in front of your kid/s to say something to you about your screen usage, “Can you please get off your phone?” You’ve been on your phone for a long time. You’re always on Instagram & TikTok. Come hang out with us.”
This is another example of lessening the shame for your kids. They see that a parent’s screen usage can be bothersome to others too.
Also, a great habit to adopt in front of your kids is to say out loud what you are about to do on your screen. “I just have to send a couple of more emails for work and go on a quick Zoom call that will last around 30 minutes.”
This sends your kids the message that all screen time is not created equal, you are not always off watching Instagram reels or endless Tik Tok every time you aren’t spending time with them (Although, sometimes you just might be, we’ve all been down the rabbit hole of mindless scrolling when we know we should get up and do something else.)
This also says that our screens are used to be productive. You want them to take note that your time away from them has a purpose.
The last tip is when you are trying to get your child off a screen and they are resistant & maybe melting down over stopping their game or show.
Try joining them for a few minutes after their screen time is over. Sit with them, talk to them and try to make a connection with them to diffuse the tough feelings. This will begin to help them transition off their screens more easily over time. It’ll help to soften the blow.
These types of strategies can be adapted to suit your tween and teen too.
Try some of these techniques and see if it can help minimize the screen time woes in your household. Hopefully, it will initiate some conversations about creating some “device free” FUN with your kids.
Summer is a great time to connect with your kids while the pace is a bit slower. It’s a great time to begin some parent coaching while things are less hectic. Why not set yourself up for a seamless BACK TO SCHOOL with some new effective parenting strategies?
