June is Pride Month, it’s great time to explain to your kids what Pride represents. As well as addressing topics in which they may be curious such as gender identity, different types of family structures and love relationships.
Remember…“Children aren’t born prejudiced, they are born curious.”
How and what you say to your child matters. You are their greatest influencer.
For little kids, keep it simple. You can merely talk about accepting and respecting everyone for who they are.
Rather than waiting for your kids to come to you, you can bring up these topics based on what your kids may be seeing out in the world. For example, rainbow flags. You can ask your child if they know why they are there and their significance. This can give you a natural “in” to a conversation about why pride exists.
Depending on the age, you can decide how much you discuss the history of the Stonewall Inn, the uprising and the history of fighting for equal rights.
A great example of talking about Stonewall would be to say something like, “Some people went out dancing with their friends and police officers told them they couldn’t dance together.”
How would you feel if somebody told you, you couldn’t dance with your friend just because of who they are?
What if your kid asks about queer relationships?
- Love is Love. It can come in many forms. Everybody deserves to be loved and everyone is allowed to choose who they love.
- Some partner relationships are one boy and one girl, some are two boys, some are two girls. Everyone finds love with different people.
- There’s no right way to be in a relationship. It’s about how this person makes you feel. Only you would know what is right for you.
- It’s most important you feel loved and secure with this person.
What about Explaining Different Types of Families?
- There are many different ways to be a family. Some families have one mom and one dad, some have two dads or two moms. Some kids only have one parent. Some kids live with their grandparents or other family members.
What if your Child Asks Whether That’s a Boy or a Girl?
- I’m not sure if they think of themselves as a boy or a girl? Maybe they just want to be a person, that’s up to them.
- I’m so glad that you notice these things and you’re trying to figure this out . It’s hard to know what somebody feels inside based on how they look to us.
- Some people don’t feel like a boy or a girl, they don’t think either word describes how they feel inside. The same with you. Nobody knows how you feel inside except you.
- People choose to express themselves in different ways. We just don’t know anybody just because they look a certain way.
Always make sure they know that asking questions is always OK. Questions about any subject. You want your children to feel like you are their “safe zone”. No question is too much; too silly, or too serious.
If your children are older than school age and are in middle school or high school, maybe you’ve had some of these conversations already. If not, it’s never too late to bring it up casually with them, at dinner, or when you’re both engrossed in another activity together. Car rides and walks are always good times to discuss things. When your child feels they are not the center of attention in that moment, they are more likely to open up.
As your child grows, it’s amazing to see their opinions on subjects such as these. It’s a wonderful thing to peer into their mindset on issues and maybe recognize what’s coming from some of your household values and ideas, or thoughts they’ve formed themselves.
Having discussions about world events; different political views/ ideas and social concerns are all fantastic ways to stay connected with your child and for you to acknowledge that their opinions are valuable.
Asking your child’s opinion on matters big and small is so important. It builds their self esteem and confidence. It helps them practice making good decisions, taking responsibility and beginning to own who they are and how they show up in the world.