Many moms were having a hard time juggling it all before the pandemic. Now they can’t send their kids to school while they work. There are no playdates to help burn off energy. They’ve lost the network of family and friends who can help out. And they’re expected to supervise remote learning while working at their jobs. All moms whether they’re working or not have greatly added to their everyday responsibilities. Moms are just burned out!
Moms are suffering from what’s called, “ Brain Burnout”, a cognitive overload that is causing “brain fog”. The management of too many details can make one feel “fuzzy” and in turn impair our “executive functioning”, the processes that allow us to plan.
So, how do we get rid of the “mind clutter” and create a better balance for yourself & your family? Self Care is the answer. Self care for many is thought of as what you can buy yourself vs. what you can do for yourself. Self care as a parent means taking care of yourself, so you can take care of others. Self care is child care.
What can self care look like now while working from home? Maybe you have young kids climbing all over you, or you’re simultaneously managing your kids school zooms while trying to work? You’re feeling trapped with no time for a break. Create a workable routine, most importantly that allows you to have breaks to get things done. Consider this as your 1st step towards self care.
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Figure out when you have the most energy in the day & when you feel most depleted. Create your routine around this.
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When your energy is at its highest & you have the most patience, use this time to be active with your kids (indoor play, or outdoor activities).
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The objective is to get your kids tired. Naps, some screen time, or solo play time can happen then. A good idea is to set-up crafts & play areas that are easily accessible, so your kids can play by themselves. You can use this time to get your work done.
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Make easy lunches & dinners, this is not the time to worry about creativity in the kitchen. So what if they eat mac n cheese a little more often than normal?
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Feel good – wear a nice outfit, get more dressed up than usual, put on makeup. Whatever is going to make you feel good.
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Limit the news, watch something funny instead.
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Physical – Are you struggling with fatigue? Maybe look at your nighttime routine, or check-in with your nutrition.
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Social – Are you feeling disconnected from others? When did you last reach out to a friend?
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If you have a partner, use the weekend to get out of the house by yourself. Take a walk, or exercise.
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Go get a coffee & sit in your car, or even another room and watch an episode of “Bridgerton”, or “The Queen’s Gambit”.
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Find a teenager (if financially feasible) that has been following Covid protocol and book a few hours a week where they can come over to watch your kids. Or, for single parents, find a friend who can come over to give you a break. You’ll pay them back with a nice meal when this is all over.
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Most importantly, don’t be hard on yourself if the day didn’t go as planned. We have to redefine success. Maybe success means your kids went outside & got some exercise. Don’t sweat it if they had more screen time because you were on a deadline or the laundry was piling up.
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These are tough times, some of the toughest for parents. Remember to breathe and carve out those pockets of time for yourself. They’ll go a long way towards your mental health.
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What your kids will remember is your presence, your consistency and your love. They’ll remember those moments of connection, not that Mom lost it a few times too many during the pandemic. Don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes, being the “okayest” mom is just “ok”.
